Dear Body Buds,
Finding confidence in yourself can often be a journey that feels too hard to make. Friends and family tell you to “just be to be confident,” but they may not understand the mental blocks you’re experiencing.
Today I want to provide for you 3 secrets to building confidence in yourself that you can begin implementing and seeing resulting growth happen immediately.
I often reflect back on the girl I was growing up–my journals are filled with statements of insecurity. I didn’t think I was pretty. I thought I had a weird face. My forehead was too big. None of the boys seemed to like me. I didn’t even kiss a boy until I was almost 20! I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 24! In spite of my achievements in dance and education, I was lacking something deep within.
Confidence that only I could give myself. Inner validation, as I now call it. What holds us back from giving ourselves this stamp of approval that we’re okay?
My personal quest for mind and body self mastery began in 2012 and has been filled with searching for the answer to this question. It’s been a beautiful journey full of grit, persistence, and resilience.
So what holds you back from giving yourself the stamp of approval that you’re okay? The answer is very simple.
In case this word is new to you, I’ll break it down for you.
‘Dis’ is a Latin pre-fix meaning ‘apart’ or ‘away.’ So if you have dis-empowering thoughts, you are having thoughts that pull you apart from empowering thoughts.
So what are empowering thoughts?
‘Empower’ means to give someone the authority, confidence, or power to do something, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.
Are you allowing yourself to have too many dis-empowering thoughts that take you away from thoughts that will give you confidence and power?
Some of the dis-empowering thoughts I used to have in the past included some of the following:
I am not pretty enough for guys to like me.
I will never be the best dancer out there.
There will always be someone smarter than me. No one will listen to what I have to say.
Can you relate to any of these thoughts?
Take out a piece of paper and write down your top 3 dis-empowering thoughts that you experience from day to day. Only when we know what we are experiencing can we begin to pave a path to where we would like to be.
Dis-empowering thoughts I hear from clients often sound like this:
I’ve just always been fat and it’s too hard to change so why try?
My genetics have screwed me over. There’s nothing I can do.
Bad things have always happened to me. I need to accept it and prepare for the worst.
One of the first mental discipline tools I teach my clients is the power of re-framing, but today I want to teach you a concept that will enable you to re-frame with more confidence. This concept allows you to have motivation to re-frame! We re-frame because empowered thoughts will always bring more good into your life than dis-empowered thoughts.
(Quick tip: Re-framing is a methodology of re-phrasing a sentence validating an emotion, but then using a present-progressive verb and action to change a negative label or belief into an action that states it can’t be true. This is a process of re-programming the subconscious mind).
Here’s the way I look at it: what good did it ever do anyone to be negative?
What energy to take action did this ever do?
What happiness in being stagnant and confined in life was ever made?
Some argue that pessimism is defense so one doesn’t get hurt.
Bologna!! Pessimism is disingenuously limiting ourselves to stagnation and less light, the very antithesis to our purpose on earth.
Cynicism and skepticism are pervasive in our society. Depending on an individual’s way of thinking, programming, or paradigm (the state in which they live), they may believe that is the only way to live life. We are each composite products of the people, thoughts, experiences, and events in our lives. As we consider that our thoughts may be limited, we begin to embrace the nature of opening up for more potential and reach in our thoughts.
That is the difference between empowered thoughts and dis-empowered thoughts. Empowered thoughts cultivate faith, light, and hope. Dis-empowered thoughts evict faith, light, and hope. This results in darkness as light recedes.
Consider your life and whether you are inviting light into your life through empowered thoughts. I invite you to empower your thoughts this week. A simple test.
Just choose to have faith. Just choose to be a positive person. Just choose to find the silver lining. Just choose to see God in the details of your life.
If you do this, I know you will experience days full of more faith and hope–more joy–than otherwise.
So here we go–here are the 3 secrets to building more confidence in yourself:
- Choose empowering thoughts over dis-empowering thoughts. Make the daily commitment to yourself. This will change the way you handle tough situations that come out of thin air. This will help you practice a state of calm and hope, rather than one of agitation and pessimism. This will build your confidence that you can be of value! You are good enough!
- Help others choose empowering thoughts over dis-empowering thoughts. As we seek to help others make their lives better, we gain confidence in our own abilities. Sometimes, we learn more by teaching others than the person hearing us!
- Journal about the outcome of choosing empowering thoughts over dis-empowering thoughts. This will build your confidence and allow you to make correlations to your choice of active living and outcomes in events. You will begin to see that you car
May you #PowerYourBody as that gives your body the fuel and chemical ability to #PowerYourLife! You will only know how amazing you can feel when you take those steps to mastering yourself inside and out! Let’s do it together!
Love your bud,